Some thoughts about Dale
Dale is almost 5 1/2 years old now. He keeps things loud and lively around our house most of the time. He really struggles with letters, reading, and communication (as well as behavior). He's actually doing pretty well at math. We don't know the source of his delays and have done genetic testing after the geneticists at PCH really made a connection that I thought surely was the right one. It was both a relief and a frustration for it to be wrong and be back at square one. At this point Dale will probably be repeating Kindergarten again. It's not the worst thing in the world because he started very early anyway, turning 5 after he'd been in school for over a month, but I worry about doing it again and him still struggling because his delays/struggles could possibly not be maturity related.
I spend a lot of time worrying about Dale. I worry about him both academically and socially. He honestly has such a sweet, tender, and good heart. I worry about him when the time comes that he notices that he acts different or that some other kids prefer not to play with him. I've always attributed his emotional immaturity to being connected to his developmental delays. A few days ago on a short outing with just him I had a thought that made me think differently.
Dale loves to be helpful, as long as it doesn't involved cleaning his room. For whatever reason he totally shuts down if he is asked to clean his room. Have him help with the dishes, laundry, trash, yard, etc., he's happy to help, but DO NOT ask him to clean his room. I think it just overwhelms him. I've given him steps to do it (pick up dirty clothes first, then toys, then trash, etc.) but maybe he needs a chart or something, I don't know. Other than that, he loves to help me with other things. So much so that he filled up his reward jar and earned a trip to the store to buy any treat of his choosing. I also had to go to the bank so we hit the store first. He was so excited to be picking out his very own candy, was talking very loud and commenting about everything. When we were at the checkout he was commented on how crazy it was that there were M&Ms on display at the register, and when the cashier asked if I had a Walgreen's account he kept saying " 'dis pace is called Wah-Greens? I did'n know dis pace was called Wah-Greens" and just talking and talking. The cashier and the man behind us were smiling.
After we purchased Dale's cherished Jelly Beans, we headed to the bank. I had him sit in the foyer chairs while I went to the teller. He picked up a Highlights magazine, opened it, and proceeded to comment on everything - quite loudly. He would say, "What?! That's so cool!" "What 'da heck?" "Huh?" etc. I looked over at him and watched him and it just became apparent to me that Dale's "social awareness" is not developmental. It is who he is. He is happy, enthusiastic, and doesn't have a care in the world. He truly is a free spirit, and I shouldn't see his apparent "lack" of social awareness as a bad thing.
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is a stranger to him. We went to a friend's block party for Halloween this year and I found myself not knowing where Dale went after I got him his plate of food. I asked Justin if he knew; he didn't, so we worriedly looked for him. We found him sitting next to a neighbor lady on the tailgate of her truck, chatting away with her. She told us he had come over and the woman sitting next to her had offered Dale one of the chairs on the ground. He looked up at them and said "Actually I think I want to sit right there." "Right there" was on the tailgate where the friend was sitting, so she laughed and got down and helped him up to her spot. He happily chatted with the other lady and ate his hotdog. We apologized for his forwardness but she laughed and said he wasn't a problem at all. He told her goodbye and said he thought he needed some more candy from her bowl before he left. She thought he was adorable. Another time we were at Phoenix Children's Hospital checking in for audiology and Dale saw the big roll of stickers behind the guy checking us in. Dale says "You know I just really like stickers?" and the guy said "Oh yeah?" and Dale says "Yeah I pretty much just want a sticker right now" lol. And yet another time, Justin was with the kids at Taco Bell. An older man was there by himself a few tables away and remarked to Justin that he had a nice family, and Justin thanked him. A few minutes later Dale asked if they had to sit at that table, and Justin said they didn't, and so Dale got up and moved to share the table with the elderly man who had been smiling at them. He has no trouble chatting anyone up! Most of his thoughts start with "You know I .....?" My sister in law, Rachele, who we don't see too often outside of church now that we have been in their ward for the last year, has said hello to Dale several times and every time he looks at her quizzically and says "How do you know me?" or "How do I know you again?" Not something your typical 4-5year old would say.
The more I think about it, I think Dale is just a very special, loving spirit. I still worry about him scholastically, but he has so much friendliness to share and that is truly a gift. Even though he is sure to still drive me crazy at times, he is a special choice spirit that I am honored to raise.
I spend a lot of time worrying about Dale. I worry about him both academically and socially. He honestly has such a sweet, tender, and good heart. I worry about him when the time comes that he notices that he acts different or that some other kids prefer not to play with him. I've always attributed his emotional immaturity to being connected to his developmental delays. A few days ago on a short outing with just him I had a thought that made me think differently.
Dale loves to be helpful, as long as it doesn't involved cleaning his room. For whatever reason he totally shuts down if he is asked to clean his room. Have him help with the dishes, laundry, trash, yard, etc., he's happy to help, but DO NOT ask him to clean his room. I think it just overwhelms him. I've given him steps to do it (pick up dirty clothes first, then toys, then trash, etc.) but maybe he needs a chart or something, I don't know. Other than that, he loves to help me with other things. So much so that he filled up his reward jar and earned a trip to the store to buy any treat of his choosing. I also had to go to the bank so we hit the store first. He was so excited to be picking out his very own candy, was talking very loud and commenting about everything. When we were at the checkout he was commented on how crazy it was that there were M&Ms on display at the register, and when the cashier asked if I had a Walgreen's account he kept saying " 'dis pace is called Wah-Greens? I did'n know dis pace was called Wah-Greens" and just talking and talking. The cashier and the man behind us were smiling.
After we purchased Dale's cherished Jelly Beans, we headed to the bank. I had him sit in the foyer chairs while I went to the teller. He picked up a Highlights magazine, opened it, and proceeded to comment on everything - quite loudly. He would say, "What?! That's so cool!" "What 'da heck?" "Huh?" etc. I looked over at him and watched him and it just became apparent to me that Dale's "social awareness" is not developmental. It is who he is. He is happy, enthusiastic, and doesn't have a care in the world. He truly is a free spirit, and I shouldn't see his apparent "lack" of social awareness as a bad thing.
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is a stranger to him. We went to a friend's block party for Halloween this year and I found myself not knowing where Dale went after I got him his plate of food. I asked Justin if he knew; he didn't, so we worriedly looked for him. We found him sitting next to a neighbor lady on the tailgate of her truck, chatting away with her. She told us he had come over and the woman sitting next to her had offered Dale one of the chairs on the ground. He looked up at them and said "Actually I think I want to sit right there." "Right there" was on the tailgate where the friend was sitting, so she laughed and got down and helped him up to her spot. He happily chatted with the other lady and ate his hotdog. We apologized for his forwardness but she laughed and said he wasn't a problem at all. He told her goodbye and said he thought he needed some more candy from her bowl before he left. She thought he was adorable. Another time we were at Phoenix Children's Hospital checking in for audiology and Dale saw the big roll of stickers behind the guy checking us in. Dale says "You know I just really like stickers?" and the guy said "Oh yeah?" and Dale says "Yeah I pretty much just want a sticker right now" lol. And yet another time, Justin was with the kids at Taco Bell. An older man was there by himself a few tables away and remarked to Justin that he had a nice family, and Justin thanked him. A few minutes later Dale asked if they had to sit at that table, and Justin said they didn't, and so Dale got up and moved to share the table with the elderly man who had been smiling at them. He has no trouble chatting anyone up! Most of his thoughts start with "You know I .....?" My sister in law, Rachele, who we don't see too often outside of church now that we have been in their ward for the last year, has said hello to Dale several times and every time he looks at her quizzically and says "How do you know me?" or "How do I know you again?" Not something your typical 4-5year old would say.
The more I think about it, I think Dale is just a very special, loving spirit. I still worry about him scholastically, but he has so much friendliness to share and that is truly a gift. Even though he is sure to still drive me crazy at times, he is a special choice spirit that I am honored to raise.
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