**Disclaimer, it's been a few weeks since I blogged, and it may just take you a few weeks to finish reading this novel of a post! I will probably make a book out of it once I'm done...**
Early 2000
I thought I was so grown up at 20yrs old! I had lived away from home, traveled out of the country for two straight months with my friends and by myself, attended and almost completed college (only lacked one semester when we got married), and yet when I think back I can't believe how young we were! Justin had been home from his mission about 3 months when we became officially engaged. Justin took me to Canyon Lake, the spot of our very first date four years earlier when we were just 16 & 17. Prior to that Justin had taken me to dinner at Monti's (my favorite steakhouse in Tempe). He had also (at some time) sat down with my parents and asked for their permission to marry me, which they nicely gave :) I can't quite remember but I think I was suspicious, but as the night went on at the lake I started to get tired. We were laying on a blanket and I was in and out of sleep when Justin started talking to me. He was waiting until midnight because then it would be July 16th, five months to the day when we would actually marry (we had already discussed the date). So once it hit midnight he told me how much he loved me and asked me to be his wife. I hugged and kissed him but apparently I forgot to say yes, so he asked me again, and I said YES! We drove home and took some pictures. This picture is my favorite of me but for obvious reasons it's not a framer:
This one is a little better of Justin, I'm not sure what the problem was...
We took a few engagement pictures, I'm pretty sure this first one is the one we ended up using:
We weren't going to get married until after fall semester so we had a pretty long engagement (by Mormon standards!) since it was five months long. We spent a great summer together and then I went back up to NAU and Justin started MCC. I was home nearly every weekend and with the help of Justin's mom (who was doing catering and reception decorating at the time) we got most of the wedding details ironed out. We were married in the Mesa Temple on December 16th and it was a perfect December Day, about 75 degrees!
We honeymooned at the Copper Mountain Resort in Colorado for four days. Lots of snowboarding and freezing our tails off! My AZ winter gear was no match for Colorado! I'm a little tired of scanning pictures and we didn't have too many good ones and y'all know what we spent most of our time doing anyway so there's not too much more to say about that.
Our First Year: 2001
We had about 8 days between our Honeymoon and a scheduled trip with my family to Honduras. We left to Trujillo, Honduras just a few days before the New Year. We went down with a large group of people for a serve and site see type thing where we spent the first 5 days building homes and a school for the villages destroyed by Hurricane Mitch a few years back. Justin almost died on our first few days there when a road was flooded by the rains and a raging river was in it's place. My brothers (all probably at least 30lbs heavier than Justin and wearing work shoes rather than flat bottomed VANS like Justin) all decided that they would brave across slowly. Justin followed suit (while those of us smart ones opted to wait out the rains) and as he got to the middle his feet started to slip under him. He froze and slowly started losing his grip. I screamed for my brothers to make a chain and save him (seriously people, he would have been swept away to a barbed wire fence about 60ft away and then on to who knows where). They made the chain and got Justin out of the middle of the river and we were all relieved! After working on the houses we started our tour and visited the Mayan ruins at Copan and relaxed and did some scuba diving on the island of Rhoatan. It was a really neat 10 day experience!
After the Honduras trip we headed up to Flagstaff to live for five months until I finished my last semester up at NAU. I didn't care to walk at graduation so as soon as finals were over we packed up and moved home to a 2bed/2ba condo in ghetto Mesa that we had purchased for $59,000. We spent about $8k fixing it up with new paint, carpet and tile, and settled in. During the 2.5 years we lived here we had cars broken into, regular police helicopter flyovers at night, a 3am awakening by a police officer asking me if I had been involved in a beer run (turns out my license plate had been stolen and used on another car involved in a beer run), Justin had to call in to work once because the police had shot and killed a suspect in our parking lot and Justin's car was taped off in the crime scene, a late night police chase on foot through our complex where the perp hopped in and out of the condo's yard below us and the police then knocked on our door to see if we saw anything, another tenant use Justin's name as his own for an ambulance ride (the unpaid bill went so far as to go on our credit report and Justin had to call and have it taken off). It was quite an experience and one of the many reasons why I trash talk Mesa pretty much any chance I get :) Looking back at these pictures I laugh at how clueless I was back then at decorating (and dressing myself, I was always dressed so frumpy!!!). Our place kinda looks like it belonged to an elderly couple...
Once home from NAU, I started working on my Master's degree through the NAU statewide program and Justin drove school buses full time and went to school full time as well at MCC. It was a busy time but we still managed to get some fun in twice a year on our trips to Rocky Point Mexico, as well as all the other things we could do at the spur of the moment living the kid-free life. In May we always went down and camped on the beach with Justin's brother Jeff and his wife Leza, as well as any other friends we could sucker into going with us. In October we would go down again with Justin's whole family and stay in a rental their parents would get. Not many pics of that for 2001, but they will be added when I cover later years :) Here are a few pictures from our excursions in 2001:
I gasped at myself when I saw these swimsuit pictures. Why is it we never appreciate the figure we have? I seriously have a waist here, and some ab definition! I will likely never see that again!!! So these are getting posted to prove to my kids that I had a figure once upon a time...
The picture below is after scuba diving in Rhoatan, Honduras.
Salt Lake City for Sheila's (roommate from NAU) temple sealing (this may have been early January of 2002 but I'm not sure...)
We went up with the Owens' the day after Thanksgiving to cut down a fresh tree
Our first tree/Christmas
I'm notorious for wanting to open up Christmas presents the night before Christmas. On our first Christmas we did just that :)
Once home from NAU, I started working on my Master's degree through the NAU statewide program and Justin drove school buses full time and went to school full time as well at MCC. It was a busy time but we still managed to get some fun in twice a year on our trips to Rocky Point Mexico, as well as all the other things we could do at the spur of the moment living the kid-free life. In May we always went down and camped on the beach with Justin's brother Jeff and his wife Leza, as well as any other friends we could sucker into going with us. In October we would go down again with Justin's whole family and stay in a rental their parents would get. Not many pics of that for 2001, but they will be added when I cover later years :) Here are a few pictures from our excursions in 2001:
Golfland/Sunsplash
I gasped at myself when I saw these swimsuit pictures. Why is it we never appreciate the figure we have? I seriously have a waist here, and some ab definition! I will likely never see that again!!! So these are getting posted to prove to my kids that I had a figure once upon a time...
The picture below is after scuba diving in Rhoatan, Honduras.
Mexico & Justin's big pants
Honduras
Mountain/trail biking in Sedona
Salt Lake City for Sheila's (roommate from NAU) temple sealing (this may have been early January of 2002 but I'm not sure...)
We went up with the Owens' the day after Thanksgiving to cut down a fresh tree
I'm notorious for wanting to open up Christmas presents the night before Christmas. On our first Christmas we did just that :)
For our first anniversary we stayed the weekend at a bed and breakfast down near Tucson. We went to Kartchner Caverns and an old cowboy restaurant with live music. And that wraps up 2001!
Our Second year 2002
Not much changed from 2001 to 2002. Both still in school and working. Here are some of the fun excursions of 2002.
In April I had a convention in San Diego for Ellsworth Publishing. Justin accompanied me and we hit some of the sites of San Diego, including Sea World.
SeaPort Village
Justin looks like he's concentrating very hard at the convention
Tijuana for dinner.....of all places we could have gone to eat....why?!
Sea World
During the summer of 2002 I spent 6 weeks living with roommates up in Flagstaff at NAU. My Master's program was originally supposed to be a cohort group that took three years to finish with set classes at certain times. I didn't want to wait three years so I took as many classes as I could, wherever I could. I took classes in Phoenix, Tucson, and one class that was only offered once a year down in the valley for my cohort(and I was supposed to take it the following spring). Well if I waited to take this class, it would take me a year longer to graduate, so it was worth it to me to take it in Flagstaff. It was a summer session, so rather than once or twice a week on evenings like my other classes, it was every day of the week. I found a summer opening through an old roommate still up there, and moved in with some girls for six weeks. I was really apprehensive, but it turned out to be such a fun experience! Me and the Brown sisters (Katrina & Betsy) had an amazing time together! We were up till at least midnight every single night laughing and snorting (and my class was at 8am!). I even went out with them a couple times (though the group we went with always knew that I was the married chick up there for the summer- but it was a little awkward explaining that to some of the guys in the group when we'd first meet. I wonder if they were embarrassed that they so enthusiastically said hello to me and asked me who I was). Either way, it was a great break from "real life" and though I'm not really in contact with Katrina & Betsy anymore (we lost contact and then reconnected via Facebook), I will always have a soft spot in my heart for them for letting me into their apartment that summer. Betsy and I were so close by the end of the summer that she didn't want me to leave. She told me she was closer to me than she had been with roommates she had lived with for an entire year.
This is Katrina, unfortunately I didn't get any good pictures of her.
Also during the early part of the summer of 2002 we were camp counselors for a week at a camp for homeless kids from the Papas school in Phoenix. "Timber Trails" was the name, and for the record the kids were wild, crazy, ghetto and disrespectful, despite having this camp free and available to them. It was a rough week, and we were glad when it was over. Justin went as a camp counselor for the boys, and I went as a badminton counselor :)
There were a few fun moments, such as those with this crazy girl Natasha. She was full of sass and loudness. We got many laughs from her. This was right after she took out her cornrows...
Justin with his crew of boys, I'd love to know their stats today...
There were a few fun moments, such as those with this crazy girl Natasha. She was full of sass and loudness. We got many laughs from her. This was right after she took out her cornrows...
Took a trip in July to Lake Powell with Justin's family
Of course what would a year be without a few Mexico trips? These are from both our May and September trips:
Back when you could actually find good deals shopping in Mexico...
Our second Christmas
Two days after Christmas we did what any couple without children can do: make last minute plans with some friends and take an impromptu visit to Magic Mountain! We literally planned this less than two days before and just said "Let's Go!" Steve and Angie Owensby were friends from our ward that we had ditched out early on the ward Christmas party with. We had a few fun months with them before they moved (but we would meet up years later on great circumstances!).
Our Third Year 2003
Our third year was FULL of fun! Started out with a snowboarding trip in February with my brothers Duane & David:
In March we took our own land tour of Mexico and returned to nearly all of the places I had visited when I spent a summer session in Mexico when I was 19. We planned a 11 day trip on a budget, spending nights with contacts we had down there as well as in hostels for $10-12 a night. We flew in and out of San Diego, took taxis to the airpot in Tijuana (because the flights were cheaper that way rather than flying from PHX to Mexico City) and flew from Tijuana to Mexico City. On the way home we flew from Guanajuato to Tijuana. The whole trip cost us about $1200. We flew into Mexico City and stayed about 3 days with the Reyes family. Their son had married my roommate from NAU. Jorge (my roommate's husband) had to be in Mexico while renewing his VISA, so he was there and picked us up from the airport and show us some of the sites of El JEFE (Mexico City). We went to the temple, the zocalo (town center), attended a "ballet folklorico" downtown (which was totally fun to watch) other historical sites and the ruins of Teotihuacan just outside of the city.
Very close by the ruins there is a huge cave with a restaurant inside of it. They have live music and everything. It was way overpriced (ahem...$4 for a single lemonade, which did not include refills!) but something you have to do just for the experience.
We will always be grateful to the Reyes family for their hospitality. Brother Reyes was a great man and passed away just a few months ago.
Busy bustle of El Zocalo in Mexico City
It was fun but you really have to be on your toes in Mexico City because of the crime there. Always gotta watch your purse and your pockets, and which roads you walk down during certain parts of the day, etc. It was much more relaxing once we left the big city.
From Mexico City we went to the Mexican state of Michoacan. It is BEAUTIFUL and we couldn't miss it. We went to the Volcan Paricutin (read about here ) and rented a tour guide and horses for the trek to the volcano. It was about 8 miles one way and we thought horseback would be fun. We couldn't have been more wrong. Put your bum on a hard saddle for a couple miles and it really starts to hurt! We ended up walking our horses most of the way and being the smart kids we were, didn't think to apply sunscreen that day. We both ended up with severe sunburns (blisters and all) on our arms from our day in the sun.
At the bottom of the cone
At the top of the volcano (which is still steaming)
From Michoacan we went to my "hometown" of Guanajuato, in the state of Guanajuato. This is where I stayed for my study abroad program. We stayed for about six days and just relaxed with my host family, the Maldonados. They are SO awesome! Maria Elena has the sweetest heart you could ever find, and her husband Cuco (nickname, don't know his real one) is a soft spoken gentleman. He used to be a Mariachi singer in his younger days and when I stayed there for school I would hear him singing every once in a while.
Out to dinner with Maria Elena, Cuco, and their nephew (can't recall the name right now...)
Guanajuato is very well known for it's silver mines. This is us on a tour of one of them. I'm not sure why we couldn't find a wall without graffiti on it...
Museo de Las Momias! The soil in Guanajuato is very dry and salty, and the people there found that the bodies buried in the cemeteries (which were dug up because families quit paying the taxes on the burial sites, another reason to be grateful to live in the USA!) did not decompose but they were dried out and mummified! There is a museum there where you walk through dozens of rooms of mummified remains. These are the babies, obviously. It's creepy but amazing at the same time.
A typical marketplace. I think this one was in Michoacan.
In April we went to General Conference up in Salt Lake City with my family. Sorry, no pictures. I'm sure at this point in this marathon post you are just wishing there was, but you'll have to do without.
In May of 2003 Justin and I graduated! I with my Masters in Counseling and Justin with his Bachelors in Computer Information Systems.
We took a trip to Mexico with a bunch of friends including Justin's brother Jeff & his wife Leza (of course, our May trips were always with them) and the Owensbys as well as the Tolmans, Van Allens, Militellos and another couple that came with Justin's brother. It was one of the best trips we've taken and that was because we had so many friends with us, plus a volleyball net and a lot of laughs! I remember impersonating the SNL character of "drunk girl" pretty regularly on this trip...
How many guys does it take to put up a tent?
On July 2nd, I found out I was pregnant with Brighton. Woo Hoo!
For the 4th of July we went to Lake Powell with Justin's family and had a great time!
Justin's dad had a cool air chair that we were all learning to use.
Once upon a time I was a pretty good wakeboarder. Here's me getting some air
Here's me getting TOO MUCH air and about to wipeout
Justin and his cute boyish face
In September we went to Utah for our good friend Brent's wedding. Justin was one of his groomsmen. We forgot about the time difference and were late to his reception...
Of course in September we had another Mexico trip. Most memorable moment was when Jeff, Leza, Justin and I opted to go skinny dipping (at night of course) out in the water. How did we do that without exposing ourselves to the other parties, you ask? Leza and I hung back and made Justin and Jeff walk out in the water first, then they both had to look the other way while Leza and I ran out there. After that we decided (being the exhibitionists we were that night) to moon Justin's parents (and their friends with them) through the window of the beach house - and take a picture of ourselves of course.
I thought I had such a big belly at 3.5 months pregnant. I guess these days I'm 3.5 months pregnant all the time...
Group picture!
In October 2003 we rented out our condo and bought our first house! It was a 1272s.f. 3bed/2ba fixer upper in West Chandler. We paid around $135,000 for it. We put in new countertops, painted and put new flooring in before we moved in. We closed on October 31st and spent Halloween night painting. Shortly after moving in we also repainted the exterior and re-landscaped the front yard.
The end product (outside anyway)
The end product (outside anyway)
Outside of Carthage Jail where the prophet Joseph Smith was martyred.
The brand new (back then) Nauvoo temple
We spent our 3rd anniversary in San Francisco. Justin was out there for a work conference so we stayed a few extra days to see the sights. Went to Alcatraz, the cable car museum, China Town, Ghetto Town, Gay Town, whatever you call it all...
For whatever reason I don't have any pictures of our Christmas tree in 2003. I must have been on strike. Whew!!! Three years down, seven more to go!
For whatever reason I don't have any pictures of our Christmas tree in 2003. I must have been on strike. Whew!!! Three years down, seven more to go!
2004, Our fourth year together
The years will be easier and faster to document now because our lives slowed down quite a bit after we started having kids (plus I've scrap-booked everything since we started having kids so I won't have such an urge to include all details and pictures...). The first part of 2004 was spent working and preparing for Brighton's arrival in March.
This was taken before we went to the hospital the night he was born.
The night before Brighton's birth. I noticed that I was in labor around 4pm while we were out running errands. We came home, went for a walk, ate dinner (I remember I had a bean burrito), I took a bath, and when the contractions started to hurt and were three minutes apart we headed to the hospital (Dr. told me the day before that I was completely effaced, so when the contractions were three minutes apart I was to go to the hospital). About a mile from home we realized we had forgotten the carseat so we turned back to get that (kind of important, right?) and we went by my parents house so my dad could give me a father's blessing. We arrived at the hospital at about 9:30pm. On the way in the car the contractions really started hurting, but I'm not one to moan and cry so when we got to the hospital I calmly told the triage nurse that I was in labor and had come to be admitted. She looked at me like a total idiot and asked me to fill out some forms (I had already preregistered with the hospital so I have no idea why they needed me to fill out the exact same paperwork again...). After I was done I was standing there assuming they would take me back to a room or something, and she gave me this irritated look again and asked if I needed to go to the bathroom. What pregnant woman in her 9th month doesn't have to go to the bathroom? I said sure and went. I came back out and stood there at her desk, again thinking I would be taken back to a room or something. She gave me an irritated look again and told me I could go wait in the waiting room. I thought that was odd, but I went out into the waiting room like she asked. I was in the waiting room for 45 MINUTES!!! Nobody bothered to come check on me, and we just kept assuming they would come get me at any minute so we tried to be patient. While in the waiting room another pregnant girl came in crying and huffing and puffing in her wheelchair...they took her right in. To this day I think they gave her my room because she was such a big baby.... I, on the other hand, started to feel some very PAINFUL contractions and they were progressing fast. I was in so much pain I could hardly stand and it was excruciating. But, as I said earlier, I'm not one to scream and moan, so I was patient. I can't remember if a nurse came to get me or if I finally asked them what the he!! was going on, but I was taken back to a little room (NOT a delivery room) and was given a gown to put on while the nurse left an did something else. I was getting ready to kill someone at that point because I was in so much pain and they were so non-nonchalantly brushing me off. I took about 10 seconds to strip off my clothes and put the gown on and fling open the door to let triage know I was ready. Then the nurse came back and sat down and slowly and calmly asked me all the B.S. I'd already filled out on my preregistration (who my doctor was, my address, etc.). She took my blood pressure (at this point I'm starting to FREAK out because I'm dying of pain, but again I'm not one to scream and moan, just wince when I'm in pain...). After taking her sweet time getting my blood pressure, she says "hmmm....that was kind of high, let me take it again..." I wonder WHY it was high???!!! I had just sat in the waiting room in hard labor for 45 minutes and they were screwing with me and not getting me to a labor room! She took my blood pressure and I less than politely asked her to check me. By the time I laid down to be checked I had already released a bloody show all over the bed I was sitting in. I apologized and she told me it was okay. She checked me and said, "Wow! You are almost a 9!" to which I responded "Okay can I get an epidural now?!" At that point people started paying attention to me. They got the anesthesiologist on his way and hooked me up to an IV. They said that I had to have 2 entire IV bags before I could get the epidural, so Justin squeezed the bags to pump it all into me within a matter of minutes (my arm was cold to the touch afterward...). I got my epidural after that and life was good once again. Brighton was in the face up position so the doctor asked me to lay on my side for an hour to see if Brighton would turn. After the hour was up (I actually think it was longer than that because I took a short nap and finished reading my DaVinci Code book), Brighton still hadn't turned so we decided to proceed. After 45 minutes of pushing and an unnecessarily large episiotomy by the on-call doctor who wanted to hurry things along so he could go back home and go to bed, Brighton made his way into the world just after 3am on March 9th, 2004, face up and with his little hand on his cheek. He was 8lbs, 14oz and 21.5 inches long. His birth was an amazing experience, but I have never and will never return to Banner Desert Hospital...
It is quite an amazing thing to have your child put on your chest after they are born. I felt like I literally lost the breath out of my lungs when I saw him. He was so precious and while I felt like I was holding this total stranger, I was so in love and protective of this little guy. Birth is such a miracle. I often tell the birthmothers I work with that nothing can prepare them for the emotions they will feel when they hold their child for the first time. You have no idea what love is until you hold your very first child.
Brighton at 3 weeks old. He was never one to be swaddled.
I love pictures of sleeping babies.
After two straight weeks of sleeplessness, I brought Brighton into our bed and things improved dramatically! All of my kids have gotten the boot at the three month mark though :)
Blurry picture, but one of our only "family pictures" in 2004. Gotta the love the poor man's photography out of Sears...
Brighton was a chunky baby! Since he was almost exclusively breastfed, the doctor suggested that I was producing cream, not milk.
Although we didn't get out much in 2004, we did make it to a Diamondbacks game.
Who could resist those beautiful blue eyes?
Brighton's first visit to the pool at 4 months old.
Crawling and getting into trouble at 7 months old.
Sometime during late 2003 or early 2004 Justin also decided to take his GMAT, the graduate school entrance exam. His plan after graduating with his bachelors was to work for two years and then get his MBA. He scored SUPER well on it (I can't remember but I think it over the 95 percentile or something, it was over 700) and all the sudden his GMAT coupled with his high GPA from undergrad, he had the potential to go to some of the top business schools in the country. He was looking at Wharton pretty seriously, and a few other Ivy Leaguers, but he had to get his two years of work experience in. Sometime in March or April of 2004, Justin noticed that ASU was still taking applications for the MBA program starting that fall. ASU has a pretty good business school as well, though he hadn't anticipated applying there since he could get in elsewhere around the country with his scores. We also hadn't planned on him going back to school yet (and quite honestly we couldn't afford it after just having Brighton and barely being out of school a year) but we decided getting through school sooner was better than later. Justin applied and with his GMAT score he had no problem getting accepted, so in the fall of 2004 he went back to school full time at the ASU W.P. Carey School of Business. Finances necessitated for me to work, so I began working again for Ellsworth Publishing Co. It was a blessing since the pay was decent (for part time) and since it was still out of my parents home I just took Brighton with me and worked during his nap times and tried to have him entertain himself in his bouncers and swings during his awake times.
In November Melissa and I took a road trip up to Las Vegas to visit Ale. Laura didn't drive up with us so I honestly can't remember how or why she was there at the same time, but there she is!
Justin likes Christmas lights. He's been buying the leftovers the day after Christmas since the first year we were married...
I apparently got some booties for Christmas but I don't think I ever got the chance to wear them. I don't know what happened to them after I opened them on Christmas Day...
Brighton with his cute Christmas outfit with his Great-Grammie Irma, who passed away last January.
Justin got a fun little toy for Christmas :)
One more year down! Only six more to go!
2005, Our fifth year together!
Heavy winter rains on New Years Eve. made the Salt River rage in Tempe. It's not something you get to see very often out here in the desert, so we jumped in the car to go take a look.
In January Brighton started standing and taking his first steps. When it's your first and only child, this is a HUGE deal...
I was serving as a Beehive advisor in the ward YW program, and the other leaders and I took all our girls up to my parents cabin in Show Low. On the way home we had to trudge through a snow storm. Once we got to the other side of it we stopped for a little fun.
In February Justin took a boys trip with his brother Trent and some friends down to the sand dunes in Yuma.
Brighton continued to be the focus of our lives during 2005.
I really don't know what happened to all of our pictures from 2005, which is good because that means I will finish it faster. Justin was super busy with school and I was working every day at Ellsworth Publishing (only about 20 hours a week). Brighton was too old and busy to come with me at that point, so he was watched by a lady from our old ward in Chandler who ran a day care out of her home and who was right on my way to work.
Some huge financial transactions occured in 2005 that have completely shaped the situation we are in now. At the beginning of 2005 the housing bubble was in the full upward swing and we decided to take advantage of it. Justin had gotten his realtor's license a few years prior, which he had used to save us money on our own housing purchases as well as to help out friends and acquaintances on occasion. Some good friends of ours from the ward were looking at buying a house in January. They turned their sights toward the town of Maricopa and while we were down there we made a last second decision to buy a house ourselves (at that time our house in Chandler had risen $60k in value and our condo had risen $30k in value - plus we had paid off our mortgage with students loans since they were interest free until after graduation). It was at the time when the homebuilders were raising prices every single week so it seemed like a good idea since the prices were still relatively low (we paid $160k for our 4b/2ba 1600s.f. house). In January we signed an agreement to purchase the house and waited for it to be built. We really hated to leave our Chandler ward because we actually REALLY loved it and loved our neighborhood and location. We just planned on living in the house in Maricopa for a year, selling it, and possibly moving back into our Chandler house.
Shortly before our house in Maricopa was finished, we sold our condo for $95k (we paid $59k 2.5yrs earlier). With that money we put the down payment on our house in Maricopa and put the rest in savings. Also around the same time my cousin, Tammy, asked Justin to help her find some land to purchase up in ShowLow. My parents had a cabin up there on 15 acres. She said that she'd like to be as close to their property as possible. We looked at a few properties but none of them were a good fit, so we decided to approach the owner of the undeveloped 15acre piece right next to my parents. As it turns out the guy was interested in selling and was willing to split it for us before he sold it! Out of the 15 acres, my cousin had cash for three, my parents had cash for four, my uncle agreed to help us out and get the deal through by purchasing two of the acres. That left 6 acres for someone else. Since everyone else had cash, we asked the owner if he would carry the 6 acres for Justin and I for three years (we planned on selling them pretty fast) with balloon payments each year. He agreed so Justin and I basically bought 6 acres with NO MONEY DOWN! He carried it for us with monthly interest only payments at 5%. It was honestly the deal of the lifetime since the real estate boom was raging and before we even closed the deal the cost of land per acre right around us had risen $20k more per acre than we were "paying". By the time we sold the first two acres six months later, the price had risen $40k more per acre, netting us just over $70k. My uncle, who didn't think his two acres would net him much since they were the least desirable, and who really stepped in last minute to buy them just to give Justin and I the opportunity to make a few bucks, ended up netting him $50k in less than 9 months. Just to finish up our real estate history, I'll add that at the end of 2006 we sold one more acre for $85k more than our purchase price, and sold our home in Chandler for $120k more than we paid for it. The following year (2008) we sold another two acres for a total of $150k more than our purchase price. So overall, in three years time we sold two residential properties and five acres and had a gross profit of about $450k (net profit after paying taxes and improvements on the land - clearing a road and putting in a water line- was closer to $400k). If anybody questions how we were able to afford the house we currently live in, the real estate boom and all of Justin's hard contracting work during its construction is the answer. We will always be grateful to my parents and for Uncle Dale who stepped in and helped make the deal we now refer to as "Show Low" happen. It has forever changed our lives. We still have one acre left. It is paid off, but land up in Show Low is not selling anymore. Prices have come down so low that although we aren't upside-down on the lot we aren't rushing to sell it until things recover a little bit.
But I'm getting ahead of myself! Let me get back to 2005:
We moved to Maricopa and started out "one year" of living there. We became pregnant with Adaira during the summer and had Brighton announce it to family by wearing a "I'm going to be big brother" t-shirt.
Here's a picture of us in November outside of the temple waiting for my brother Duane to come out with his wonderful new bride, Angie. I can't find pictures so I'll be scanning scrapbook pages for the next few years :)
For our five year anniversary in December we took a week-long cruise down the Mexican Riviera. At nearly six months pregnant there were a few issues cruising (all the food tasting blah to me and I had to just take a nap if I felt sick since I couldn't take anything for motion sickness) We arrived home on Christmas Eve and I think we spent the night with the Owens' since they had been watching Brighton for us anyway.
2006, a year when everything changes...
Since we had just taken a week long cruise, we didn't do anything else for most of early 2006 other than go to the cabin in Show Low a few times. Justin finished up his MBA program early and had been recruited by none other than his own Dad. His dad worked in land development and with the real estate boom all companies related to real estate were booming too. It was nice to have a full time income again since I had been so sick during my pregnancy with Adaira that I had quit Ellsworth Publishing in November. On Valentines Day in February Justin took me to a park by our old house in Chandler and nervously sang me a song he had been practicing on his guitar. It was so sweet, especially since he was so nervous and trembling. Finding out that he had sat in his truck at the end of our street after work practicing this song for weeks before singing it to me made it so special. I had always thought it would be awesome to have a husband who sings to me, and Justin has, only a few times, but he has... This was the first time.
It was a song called "All These Things"
Maybe it's her face, no makeup at all
As she tells me she's not beautiful
Maybe it's her hair, soft golden and wind blown
As we drive through the streets of town
It could be all these things
But I think it's her smile
Maybe it's her laugh when she throws back and sighs
Or her eyebrows when I do something stupid
Maybe it's her smell, the lotion she wears
Or how my hands smell like country pear for days
You know it could be all these things
But I think mostly it is her smile
Cause I love to see her smile back at me
And I know she is happy
Maybe it's her touch, the feel of her hands
When she puts her tiny fingers in mine
Maybe it's her eyes gently searching my soul
Still nothing stirs me like when I see those lips roll
and I see her smile
Cause I love to see her smile back at me
And I know she is happy
As she tells me she's not beautiful
Maybe it's her hair, soft golden and wind blown
As we drive through the streets of town
It could be all these things
But I think it's her smile
Maybe it's her laugh when she throws back and sighs
Or her eyebrows when I do something stupid
Maybe it's her smell, the lotion she wears
Or how my hands smell like country pear for days
You know it could be all these things
But I think mostly it is her smile
Cause I love to see her smile back at me
And I know she is happy
Maybe it's her touch, the feel of her hands
When she puts her tiny fingers in mine
Maybe it's her eyes gently searching my soul
Still nothing stirs me like when I see those lips roll
and I see her smile
Cause I love to see her smile back at me
And I know she is happy
When the song was over he asked me if I'd marry him again, and gave me an "upgraded" diamond solitaire ring. It was a full carat and near perfect quality and clarity. He said I would have to pick out the setting because he wanted to make sure I got something I liked. What a sweet day!
March I happened to be surfing the MLS real estate listings (a hobby of mine during the housing boom) and found a 2.5acre lot in Chandler that had just come up for sale. Compared to the current prices of acreage, this land was a steal! But it was still hundreds of thousands of dollars out of our price range. I emailed it to Justin with a note saying something like "If only we had the money, this sure would be nice. We could split it and sell one half for market value and then the other half would be affordable". To my surprise Justin actually really liked the idea. We saw the land, figured out that we had enough money leftover after the 20% down payment to last us 9months before we would be out of money. We had to split it and sell the other half within that amount of time or we would lose the entire thing. Thinking back I can't believe we took such a risk. Here we were making about $60k a year and we were taking on a $2800/mo land payment. We were nuts! (Fast forward now...We closed just weeks after Adaira was born, and once again God smiled down on us and a buyer wanted our land. We had it sold within about 4 months. We now had an acre lot on which to build our dream home).
In March Brighton turned two. I remember feeling so much anxiety about having child #2. Brighton was my world. Would he feel less loved when we had another child? I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I loved my Brighton. I spent a lot of time with him those last few weeks before Adaira was born. On the night I was scheduled to be induced, we took Brighton to a park and played with him for his last evening of being the only child. We then took him to my brother Dean's house where he could play with his cousins while I was in the hospital. Dean's wife, Rachele, is an amazing mom and I knew Brighton would have a great time with them for a few days.
I was already 4cm dilated by the time I was scheduled to be induced. I wasn't in labor but had been having strong, irregular contractions for a few days. We arrived at the hospital at 10:30pm on April 3rd. Dr. Goodman (whom I was now seeing after my last disaster of a delivery with another doctor) came and decided to just break my water. He did so, labor kicked in full gear and within 20 minutes I needed my epidural since I was already 7cm. At 12:49am on 4/05/06, Adaira made her grand entrance. She shares a birthday with her Grandpa Dale. She was beautiful! She was also HUGE! I had only gained 28lbs that pregnancy, and at delivery at least half of that disappeared! She was 9lbs, 9oz and 21 1/4 inches. I cried when she was placed on my chest. My mom and Justin's mom were in the room for this delivery and thanks to them we have lots of great pictures.
Adaira turned out to be such an angel baby! She slept fairly well, calmed very easily, and as soon as she was old enough to smile, she smiled all the time! I can't emphasize enough how amazing and calm she was. She was a dream of a baby and toddler! I would have never imagined she could have the ability to be as sassy as she is now ;).
In May we put our house in Maricopa up for sale. We bought it for $160k, and our original listing price to sell was $249k. We had high hopes of benefiting from the boom again with this property.
We also went to Rocky Point
In early June we went up to the cabin for Father's Day weekend. We had invited several friends as well. We were the first to arrive and Justin went up into one of the unfinished lofts upstairs to do something. The loft he was in had fold down attic stairs, but it also had a trap door for a future ladder. Justin had repositioned the trap door but not put it back exactly straight. Brighton wanted to be where his daddy was so Justin let him go up there with him, not realizing the trap door was crooked. Brighton stepped on the door and fell right through...10 feet to the floor below. I was downstairs and heard the commotion and then heard Brighton's whimper and I dashed upstairs just as Justin was lowering himself from the opening. It was a horrible scene for those first few seconds not knowing how Brighton landed or what his injuries might be. His lips were slightly blue from the wind getting knocked out of him, he wasn't making any noise, and was looking up at us holding his jaw slightly crooked. I was horrified to think he might have landed on his head and broken his neck. I thought to my self "Oh Dear God please don't let my child die in front of me." I frantically asked him if he could move anything and he slowly caught his breath and started to scream (and slowly move his extremities - to my joy!). We had him move around and to make sure he still had function everywhere and he did. None of his bones seemed broken, and shortly thereafter it was time for his nap, so Justin laid down and took a nap with him. A few hours later when we were out feeding ducks, Brighton kept complaining that his elbow hurt. We took him to an urgent care where X-rays found an "impaction fracture" in his upper arm. It wasn't the type of break that needs a cast, but Brighton had to have his arm in a permanent sling for four weeks.
Pictures in late June of our sweet kids
Brighton was an equally amazing big brother. He was always so helpful and gentle with Adaira. He loved to be around her and was very protective when other kids came over and got too close to her (he would get in between them and her sister and push them away!)
August 2006
Family Pictures in October taken by the lovely Cindy Price of lilypstudio.com
In early November, 2006, revelations occurred that would shatter our marriage and possibly our family. It's not solely my story to share, nor is it appropriate to share all the details with the world of blog readers, but in short there were issues and problems outside of my knowledge and my control (things that I thought had been resolved years earlier before we had any children) that were discovered in early November of 2006. The walls of my world came crashing down, and that very night I asked Justin to leave our home and told him he would never return. I had every intention of getting a divorce. My heart wrenched when I would look at my two innocent children and think that they were going to have to live with the consequences of a broken home. My heart starts to creep its way up my throat even as I write about it, since I do not give much thought to this time period these days. After several weeks spent apart, I became aware of a very specific program (out of state) offered by the top expert in the country, at the best facility money could buy, and it was decided that it was best to "throw everything at it" rather than try and save money and fail. I felt like it was best to spend the money trying to fix this problem so that maybe there was a possibility of reconciliation, or it was kept in our bank account and "we" would cease to exist. In early December, Justin would leave the state for the program, and I would stay in Arizona and get the help I needed. We were apart for our 6th anniversary, Christmas, and through the New Year. Imagine trying to explain to others why Justin was "away on business" over the holdays... At first I didn't want to celebrate Christmas, but about a week prior I felt guilty and decided to buy a small pre-lit tree from Walmart. I cried a lot on Christmas Day. The kids and I had our own little Christmas and then did the rounds with Justin's parents and my parents. I hated being there, and the fact that I was putting on a fake smile so as not to dampen everyone else's Christmas. I just wanted to be home alone in my own little bubble with my kids, who were the true angels that got me through this whole experience. Shortly after Justin was gone, little 2.5 year old Brighton saw me crying. He said "What wrong Momma?" and I told him that I was just sad. He hugged me and told me he loved me. From that point on he started telling me he loved me at least a dozen times a day at the most random of times, even though I didn't cry in front of him again. This behavior continued for the next several YEARS. He had such a great habit of it that he would also tell Adaira he loved her all the time too. When Adaira started talking "I love you," or "Ya You" in her words, was one of her first phrases. Whoever doesn't think little children are aware of what is going on in the adult world around them is WRONG.
2007, A Painful but Necessary New Beginning
It was an extremely difficult time for both of us. I have to add that Justin was as devastated as I was during this time, he never wanted to hurt me, and he wished himself that he didn't have the struggles he had. I had a lot of thinking to do and a lot of pain to process, and some major decisions that I needed to make. The best advice I received during this time came from a phone call from my older brother Dean. He told me of some of his good friends who had divorced, and how overwhelmingly sad it had been and how incredibly sad it would be if Justin and I's marriage were to end. He reminded me of all of Justin's great qualities and asked me to not make any major decisions for at least six months (or a year, I can't remember). I recall a similar plea from Justin's mom as well. I decided to wait, although within days of our separation I had already ordered divorce papers and was in the process of making my demands on custody and the split of our assets. Once I decided to hold off on those plans, I felt an overwhelming peace. I still felt a lot of pain, but I felt peace at the fact that I didn't need to make the decision about divorce just yet. This was an incredibly lonely time. Very few of my friends knew what was going on, and I couldn't bring myself to let everyone know my situation (even though we got together for playdates during that time). It wasn't that I was worried about being perfect, I just thought that if I was going to have to forgive and forget things, I didn't want my friends to have to do the same. I didn't want to be the one they felt sorry for, or the one who they looked at and were "so glad" they weren't in my shoes. I had still accomplished a lot in my life, and I didn't want this experience, which was beyond my control, to negate everything else about me. I guess some of those reasons are about keeping up other peoples perceptions, I don't know. At this point I don't care anymore, so I'll just get back to the story. A lot of my time during the months we were apart was spent thinking about my children. I thought about how my special babies did not deserve to grow up in a broken home. They did not deserve to be bounced around from house to house on holidays and birthdays. They did not deserve to have step-parents that might not love them as much as they deserved to be loved. If I had more children with another husband, would he show the same love to my kids that he would "our" kids? I never wanted Brighton and Adaira to feel like they didn't have a home base. I didn't want them to have a partial safe haven at two different places, but not have a single place where they could feel they belonged. I did not want them to be presided over by a step-mother on their visits with their father. I DID NOT WANT that life for them. I don't think all children with step parents have a horrible lot in life, but I didn't think it was fair to risk it for my kids. I also knew that divorce also rarely solves problems. Another husband could come along with his own separate barrel of issues. The hard part was, aside from this issue, Justin and I got along great. We really never fought and had almost all things in common. He always treated me well and was thoughtful. His compliments were always so helpful to my self-esteem. He had never made me feel like anything less than wonderful. If we had marriage problems coupled with the problems at hand, that decision of whether to get a divorce or not sure would have been a lot easier. Justin was whole-heartedly working to save our marriage, and after much prayer and pondering I decided that if he was willing to work at it, I would too. I did not want to be broken, either. Part of me really wanted everything to be okay again. My pride also told me that I should be mad for at least 4-6 months. You don't let someone off that easy! How weak of a person would I be if I just "gave in" and let him come home? It was a really difficult inner struggle since I didn't want to feel like or be perceived as a woman without a backbone. In my inner thoughts and prayers, however, it came to me that holding onto my anger and resentment would just make me a bitter person. If I chose to stay angry and "make him pay" for the prescribed amount of time my pride told me was necessary, it just meant that I would be miserable for that prescribed amount of time as well. Our healing would also be delayed until that prescribed amount of time passed. I decided that I had to let go. I had to let it all go. Everything had to start over, including our marriage. There was no making sense of anything that had happened for the past six years. No good explanations, nothing to undue anything. When I would try to make sense of it all it would just make me angry. This is why I don't go there. In my mind and for my healing, I have to completely detach from our relationship prior to January of 2007. When you love somebody you don't deceive them and hurt them, you get help rather than get worse. I know it's not as simple as that when you are on the other side, but it's what should've happened. I can't deny, however, that the timing of everything seemed to be set in a way that it was the only way everything could have worked out the way it did. Had the severity of things come to light prior to having children, I would not have had any reason to consider staying. Had it come in the next few years later, Justin would have been in the middle of his schooling and there is now way he could have left the state for a month and a half to seek therapeutic help. The real estate boom also wouldn't have occurred yet to give us the sweet financial blessings that allowed us to pay for all the counseling. He also wouldn't have had the job with his Dad, who was willing to give him paid time off while he was out of state. Though it sickens me to think of all those six years wasted (in my mind), I have to recognize that sometimes the Lord has his own timing to allow someone to get to their lowest low, while at the same time preparing their situation to be at the peak time for fixing itself.
In late January I allowed Justin to move home. That does not mean that everything was all the sudden okay, but I also thought if the goal was to save our marriage, what would a longer separation help? I also didn't want my kids to feel uneasy about their dad not being around all the time. My mood fluctuated from a cycle of feeling peace, anger, sadness and then peace again. I wanted nothing to do with the ring he had given me the previous Valentines Day. It, and all my other sweet memories, just seemed soured by the secrets. I sold it, and to this day I still don't regret that decision. Emotionally during this time I had to take it slow because it's hard to not just want to protect yourself and keep yourself from the feelings that make you vulnerable. Everything was not the same because we had a long road ahead of us. At the same time, the new and improved Justin (I didn't realize it but I was becoming new and improved in the process too) was so easy to love. It was overcoming myself that took all the work from my end. Several tens of thousands of dollars later, and with continued individual counseling, marriage counseling, group counseling, and steady personal commitment through the rest of the year and beyond, Justin and I made it. Our lives continued to become richly blessed once again, and and as with most things, time started its natural process of healing wounded hearts. 2007 was a year of many things, but most of all it was a year of healing. As it turns out, when you get that much counseling, you become pretty smart and well rounded people, and I'd say our marriage and communication is top notch these days! As I write this I also can't say enough what a miracle it was to heal as much as we did in that first year. I know I couldn't have done it without my wonderful Father in Heaven. To this day I still remember the feelings that came to me, the thoughts of anger and regret that seemed to be shrouded in a fog in my mind that wouldn't allow me to dwell on them for more than a few seconds. The sweet primary song that would come to my head every time I would struggle and start to ruminate on the painful discoveries I had made, the way that my children became my saving angels and how I was reminded to not allow myself to miss the sweet moments with them by being consumed with anger or hurt. I still remember looking at Adaira, who wasn't even 9 months old, and thinking "How much am I going to miss when I'm too consumed with my own pain to find the joy in loving such a sweet little girl." Between her and Brighton's tender loving words all day long, I was saved. I could not have done it without them! I honestly know they were meant to come to our family in the order they came. Had Dale (though I love him dearly....he was colicky and didn't sleep and to this day is still a MAJOR handful) been in Adaira's place during that time, and with his temperament, I would not have survived. I honestly think I would have lost it mentally. I would have either run away from everything or had to be medicated.
Why did I want to share this story? I will get to that when I finish this post through 2010.
A few other secondary things occurred in 2007. In early March I purchased six private dance lessons at the ward silent auction for our girl's camp fundraiser. A lady in our ward used to own a dance studio in Tucson and she was an awesome instructor! She came to our home for all the lessons (in the evening after the kids were in bed). Learning to dance together was a really sweet thing we were able to do while we were in the beginning stages of our healing process. She taught us a little bit of everything from the single/double/triple step swing, to the cha-cha, to the waltz, with a few other techniques included.
In July we finally sold our house in Maricopa. The listing that started at $249k had to be dropped over and over again as the market took a dive. We ended up selling and netting $160k, exactly what we paid for it 2 years prior. We were bummed thinking that if we would have just originally listed it for $200k we would have sold it in a heartbeat and made some money, but hindsight is also 20/20, right? It was still a huge blessing since the deal almost didn't go through, and the market continued to drop an additional $70k from that point and all of our dear friends down in Maricopa are stuck with the disaster of having a drastically upside-down mortgages with horrible terms. Right at the same time that we sold our house, we got an offer on the two acres up in Show Low. It wouldn't be closing right away, but it gave us hope that we might end up being able to build our dream house. The money we got back from selling the Maricopa house (which was just the down payment we put down when we bought it) was just enough to pay off the balloon payment for the land in Show Low. So many little things fell into place at just the right time to save our butts! Anyway, after paying off the balloon payment we were totally broke and didn't want to rent a house because we were going to build a new one and anticipated it being done in less than a year (boy were we wrong!). We moved into my Mom and Dad's basement and tried to get our future plans in order. I have 2007 completely scrap booked in my kids scrapbooks, so I'll just post one page for kicks. This is us in May 2007 at my brother Don's wedding reception.
Shortly after the Christmas season started we took our kids on the Polar Express out of Williams. We did the package deal where you do the train ride and stay at the resort that night. It was so much fun! Having the whole train car singing Christmas songs together, being served cookies and hot chocolate, having the Polar Express story read to us and then arriving at the North Pole to see Santa (by then ALL the kids are hyped up to see him). Santa gets on the train and on the ride back to the hotel he walks through each train car and says hello to each child and gives them a bell. It was just so fun and it was snowing and everything so it really was sort of magical. I loved it!
I love this picture of Adaira and the snowflake we caught in front of her.
The setting with all the snow falling was perfect!
We went with Melissa and Brett (and Becky)
The next morning we went to what I think is the only small hill in all of Williams (and it was a pretty pathetic hill) but the kids enjoyed the sledding.
Before I forget, my parents took my brothers and I (and spouses) on a wonderful cruise for Christmas 2007! It was so much fun! We celebrated our anniversary on the cruise and Justin stood up and gave a toast to me and our FIRST good year together (now obviously we admit we've been married longer than that but it truly was the best year because there was no secrecy. I felt like I finally had 100% of my husband since there wasn't anything to hide anymore, and I'll add that at 100% he's the most amazing guy to have around).
The whole crew, unfortunately Dean & Rachele had to pull out last minute because Rachele's grandfather died.
The toast
Our best first year together!
2008
Just living and enjoying life, and trying to decide which of the over 1,000 pictures to use in this post...
We received an annual zoo pass from Justin's grandparents for Christmas and we put it to great use all year! I never thought I would want a zoo pass since I never go to the zoo. Turns out when you have an annual pass you go all the time!
Brighton and Adaira were growing fast and we didn't even know it. Adaira continued to be such a sweet little girl and Brighton continued to be a wonderful big brother. Sometimes I wonder if maybe he didn't spoil her a little too much...
For Brighton's 4th birthday Justin hooked them up with a helicopter ride through his buddy Elliott.
These cute little moments are so precious. If only I could have a tape recording of the little conversations they would share as they were drifting off together....
In late March we went to Washington D.C. for a week to visit Jeff and Leza, see the sights, and for Justin to run the D.C. marathon with his brother Jeff.
In April I also applied for a job with LDS Family Services. We were feeling pretty anxious about the fact that the housing bubble had burst and it was only a matter of time before Justin's work ran out. We were blessed that he had his job for as long as he did and that his Dad's company stayed afloat as long as it did, but I got a part time job just in case we needed it if he couldn't find another job right away. As it turned out, as if anyone doesn't already know this, I was hired on as a Level II Adoption Caseworker and originally started working with only birthmothers. I did not have any previous experience with adoption, but I LOVE my job. I immediately fell in love with the courage of the amazing women I got to work with and felt like their stories should be heard. I'm an advocate for birthmothers and open adoption now, and I love almost every minute of it.
After months of waiting to close on our two acres in Show Low, and then several months after that for our designer to finish our floorplans, and then waiting months for the city to give us our permit, we were finally able to get started preparing our lot for construction. Justin has most of those pictures saved somewhere else, and ground was not broken using this little bobcat (but rather a huge digger used to dig the basement). We finally broke ground in June 2008! Hurray!
I don't usually see a resemblance between Adaira and I. I tend to think she has a lot more of the Owens' features, but when I see this picture I only see a mini-me when I was a dirty little camping girl with big blue eyes, long blond bangs, and a mullet. This is at Kinder Springs during our annual camping trip (June I think).
Great family pictures taken by my sister in law Angie (of angiestarrphotography.com )
The picture below was supposed to be used as a pregnancy announcement for baby #3, but it was not meant to be. I found out at about 9wks along that my baby was only measuring 5wks and 2 days. I had started bleeding about two weeks prior, but just a little spotting. A pregnancy test still came up positive, but I had never spotted before so I felt strongly already that something was wrong, and I have always started to feel the effects of pregnancy by week 8, and at this point I still didn't feel any symptoms. An ultrasound confirmed that there was no baby and they wanted to have me take some more tests and see if I needed to have a D&C. I was not interested in a D&C and didn't go back for any additional tests. I miscarried three days later on October 30th, at Banner Gateway Hospital while I working with one of my birthmothers who had just given birth and was placing her baby with the adoptive couple that night! Talk about traumatic! I really felt peace in it all and I wasn't very upset about it, but to have it all gush out over and over at the hospital was NOT a good thing! What a night...
In August/September the work finally dried up and Justin was let go from his job with his Dad. We were so grateful that it had lasted that long when we knew many people who were laid off many months prior. Justin had been looking for work and applying for different jobs for at least four months with absolutely no luck. The amazing thing, however, was that within only days of Justin being told he only had two weeks left of work, a full time employee at my parents company, Ellsworth Publishing had just given his two week notice. After tearful pleading on behalf of me to my brother Dean, who pretty much runs the show over there, Justin was hired on to fill that employee's position, and with only a 10% pay cut to what he was making previously. One of the jobs Justin had been looking into for about a year had been a special agent position with the federal government. He had applied with Immigration and Customs Enforcement in February of 2008, and was still in the hiring process for that job, however there was no way of knowing if or when he would ever get the job. Only a few months prior he also applied for a special agent position with the Treasury department as well. Dean really didn't want to hire and train someone who would only work there for a couple months, so Justin and I agreed that he wouldn't look for any other jobs while working with Ellsworth Publishing and we would just see if and when the special agent positions came through. As it turned out, Justin and Dean really hit it off and had a great time working together, and we were saved by the miraculous timing of a construction job that lasted months longer than we expected, only to align perfectly with the unexpectedly two week notice given by the employee at Ellsworth Publishing (unfortunately that employee was laid off from his new job within months...). The timing of it all was nothing short of a miracle, and we know God was watching over us and helping us on our path. I could also never express the appreciation I have for my brother Dean who extended the job offer to Justin. I don't know if he will ever know just how much he saved us!
We took many impromptu trips up to the cabin with the kids this year as well. Especially if we heard that snow was coming!
My family is addicted to cruising now. My parents took us on a 4-day cruise down to Cabo San Lucas just before Christmas. As always, it was a blast. This picture is missing Don & Dia, who chose not to take the quad riding excursion. Dean & Rachele missed this cruise too but I can't remember why...
Justin is so good at doing Gingerbread houses every year with the kids. I don't recall ever making one as a kid so it's not really a big deal for me. Justin has sweet memories of making Gingerbread houses with his Grandma Rena, who also passed away in late October of this year. She is sorely missed by all her surviving family.
Merry Christmas 2008!
2009
Another year of many changes, but all for the better!
I won't post many pictures of 2009 because this blog began in 2009 and if you are really curious you can just look through my archives, though I'm sure all of you are just as tired of this marathon post as I am :)
In April our house was finally complete enough to pass a final inspection! Justin kept a great journal of the construction process at http://ownerbuilderbook.com/blogs/users/OwensNewHome.aspx
When we moved in, we still had an unfinished basement and unfinished bonus space above the garage, as well as a whole laundry list of other items. To see the link to the first blog post I made about our house, click here
Throughout the summer we worked like mad to get the backyard started. Justin was still working for Ellsworth Publishing Co. and enjoying it, however the special agent hiring process seemed to be getting more and more involved with Justin's application. They would never give him a definitive answer, but since the ICE position requires a top secret security clearance (IRS only requires a "secret" clearance), investigators were contacting neighbors, past work associates, references, friends from high school, etc. Justin was flown to California just for a physical, and they continued to request more and more information from him. For the Treasury position we were also required to undergo a tax audit (which may I add totally SUCKS! You are guilty until proven innocent!). While Ellsworth Publishing was a blessing and fun at times for Justin, he still felt like he wasn't using his full potential working there, and though it was hard to leave for so many reasons, Justin decided that if and when the offer for the special agent position came, he would take it, whether it came from ICE or the IRS. Because it looked like the job offer would eventually come, we opted to finish the bonus space above the garage to rent out while we were in Georgia (for special agent training) and help subsidize the house we needed to rent out there. As with so many other things in our life, God arranged for other circumstances to fall into place perfectly with ours. My brother, Don, and his wife had decided to move out of their home in Mesa and rent it while they waited to close on a short sale. The short sale didn't work out for them and so they opted to build a new home in Chandler. Right around the time they needed a place to stay, we were able to finish the apartment for them. Their home wasn't going to be finished until mid-to-late March, right when we would be coming home from Georgia. We ended up renting the apartment to them until we left to Georgia, at which time they moved into our house and we rented out the apartment to another couple who signed a year lease. The two rents combined covered the cost of our rental in Georgia, and Don just happened to need to rent our house for exactly the amount of time we would be gone for. Now tell me that isn't a tender mercy extended from above?
Two weeks before Dale was due, Justin received a phone call from the US Treasury department offering him a position as a special agent and asking him to report for duty at the training facility in Southeast Georgia in four weeks. FOUR WEEKS! That meant that we had to get Dale OUT so that Justin could be home for as much of those early weeks as possibly to help me out. Though I was pretty determined, an induction wasn't scheduled until August 30th, the day before Dale's due date. We went in late that night, around 10:30pm I think, and since I was only two centimeters dilated I was started on Pitocin (it was after midnight before I was all hooked up). Labor progressed very slowly and by 1:30am I was still only dilated to 3cm, but the wonderful Dr. Goodman surprised us with a call to our nurse telling her that he was on his way to the hospital to break my water! I can't tell you how much a I love that guy. It has been an amazing thing to be able to have a longtime family friend/relative deliver my children. I still remember after he delivered Adaira he hugged my mom (she and his wife are best friends) and hugged me and gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me congratulations. Anyway, back to the story. After Dr. Goodman broke my water, he went a took a nap while we continued to wait. Labor really started to kick in and by 3am the contractions were finally getting painful. At 4am I was 7cm dilated and got my epidural, at that point Dr. Goodman had returned and was just sitting in the room with us chatting about life. At about 4:45am Dale was ready to come and on the very first push Dr. Goodman had to tell me to slow down because he was coming right out! We immediately saw a full head of dark hair crowning (I wanted to deliver with a mirror this time so I could see what was happening). At the end of the second push Dale's head was out, and with push three he was here! He literally came out in less than 5 minutes and was all purple and bruised because of it. I couldn't even help it, I didn't think I was pushing too hard, he just came out so easily! Dale was the bluest baby I've ever delivered, and I remember he didn't cry at first and they had to suction his throat a couple times (very nerve racking to wait for those first cries!). The cord was wrapped around his neck once and lightly again around his body. I remember Dr. Goodman commenting to the nurse about how freakishly long my cord was. I think he said it was 41in long. I had never seen a placenta before so I asked him to show it to me when it was delivered. He was so good at explaining all the different parts of it and where it was attached to the wall of my uterus and everything. It was ENORMOUS! Dale weighed in at 9lbs, 5oz and 21 3/4in long. Birth is such an amazing thing. I wish I could sit in on one other than my own so I could witness it and actually remember more of it! There was just so much adrenaline running through me when Dale came out and was finally placed on my chest. He looked completely different from our other kids with all that hair and all sorts of baby acne! He came out screaming and didn't stop! I didn't sleep for about 4 days straight and was really starting to get loopy and wasn't off to a good start with this little one. I tried every colic remedy I could find, including gripe water, mylicon drops, probiotics, reflux medicine, chiropractor adjustment, chamomile tablets, homeopathic colic tablets, holding positions, sleep positions, baby wearing, diet modifications for nursing, etc. See my blog posts from the fall of 2009 and you'll see. Thank goodness Heavenly Father helps our love for our children grow the more we serve them, because Dale was not easy to love but he sure required a lot of service on my part! At least I could find solace this time around in stepping on a scale 7 days after giving birth and finding out I was already back to my pre-pregnancy weight (however my pre-pregnancy weight was about 10lbs heavier than I wanted to be). That was a happy day!
Lest anyone forget how miserable I was, the left picture is my foot three days before delivery, the right picture is three days after...
When Dale was about a week and a half old, we blessed him in our home with friends and family around. Justin would be leaving to Georgia before Dale was even three weeks old and we didn't want to take him to church that soon (and I was still a haggard wreck not getting any sleep with my sleepless/screaming child). My SIL Angie came over and took some family pictures of us just before the blessing. Dale didn't last too long before he either started crying or fell asleep, but the pictures are precious either way.
Justin reported to the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center (FLETC) on September 24th. He received a phone call from ICE offering him a position less than a week after he reported for the Treasury. Although he previously would've chosen ICE over Treasury, he decided to stick to the course and stay with the Treasury. Brighton had a really hard time letting him go. It was surprising because Justin had traveled often for Ellsworth Publishing and it was no big deal, but I guess Brighton was old enough to understand that it would really be a long time before he saw his Daddy again.
I flew solo at home with the kids for three weeks until we flew out to join him and start our wonderful Adventure in Georgia. I'm starting to feel nostalgic already as I start to write this. It's all on this blog if you haven't read it, but we lived in southeast Georgia on the coast for 5.5 months, from mid October 2009- March 28th 2010. We rented a furnished house on St. Simons Island, about 13 miles from FLETC. Brighton was enrolled at St. Simons Elementary (a school I LOVED and with a teacher that Brighton and I both ADORED!) and shortly after arriving Adaira was enrolled in the St. Simons United Methodist Preschool. It was a 5 day a week program, for four hours a day, and only cost $230/mo! Is that unheard of or what?! Not only was the price great but their program was also very academic based as well and Adaira was writing all her letters and her name from memory in no time (at only 3 1/2 yrs old). It was wonderful and with Dale still being as fussy as he was, it gave me a chance to have some down time having the older kids in school.
This post just after we got home pretty much sums a lot of it up.
My top 10 favorites from Georgia
1. Living 1.5mi from the beach and going there at least 2-3x/week
2. St. Simons Elementary & United Methodist Preschool
3. Living on a street with a half dozen other boys for Brighton to play with
4. The enormous 100+ year old oak trees everywhere
5. The friendly Southern Folk and their awesome accents
6. Yes ma'am, no ma'am
7. The genuine and down to earth ward members (that means you Brett!) and all the fun ward activities/parties.
8. Carrie Crane, a fellow FLETC wife, and her family. Carrie was my "best Georgia friend" and saved my sanity on multiple occasions. Click here to see my tribute to her.
9. REAL Southern BBQ, any time I wanted it, and we never ran out of new BBQ joints to try out.
10. Not having any household/yard projects to work on. Since the house was a rental, our free time was really OURS. On weekends we took day trips, in the evenings we took walks/bike rides to the beach. We spent a LOT of quality time together in Georgia.
At the end of December Justin graduated from the first half of basic training. We would be gone for the final graduation so Brighton and I attended this one. On Christmas Eve we went to Sea World and had a blast. See here
When we first moved to Georgia I had one goal, to survive it and get back home. I just wanted to get it over with and get settled again. However, after about a month in Georgia, I realized that I loved it and wanted to make our stay last as long as possible. I have such fond memories of our time there. There are people there that I really miss being friends with. I miss being in a ward where people aren't so concerned with material things. I miss living next to a neighbor that would always bring over a plate of whatever specialty she happened to be making that night, and we would do the same for her. I miss sitting out on this same neighbor's patio at least once a week while the kids jumped on the trampoline and chatted as we watched her drink her routine large glass of boxed wine. I miss the beach; OH I miss the beach! I miss coming home from church, making pudding for dessert and putting it in the fridge to chill while we took a family walk along the beach so Brighton could look for sea shells for his endless collection that he was going to sell for a million bucks when get got back to AZ. I miss seeing dead jelly fish and other random sea creatures, or walking along the pier and seeing what the fishermen's latest catch was. If we had the opportunity, I would choose to return and live in that very same old house on St. Simons Island and raise my kids there for the next 5 years (until Jr. High when Brighton would have to go to school on the mainland). It truly was a joyous time among all the chaos of living away from home.
2010
Getting back to the real world
At the very end of March the kids and I returned to AZ so Brighton could start the 4th quarter of school on time. My Uncle Dale was kind enough to fly out to Georgia to drive home with Justin just over two weeks later. We settled in and Justin started two new jobs, the first being his job as a special agent, and the second job of finishing off our basement. We hadn't intended to finish the basement until we sold our last acre in Show Low (hopefully within the next 3 yrs). However once again, the inconvenience of someone else's situation turned into a blessing for our situation. My good friend, Frances, needed a place to live and start a small day care business. She couldn't get approved for a home based on the adjusted income she was making at the other day care since she lived and worked there and rent was deducted from her pay. She couldn't rent a home since no landlord wants a day care business run out of their home. With Justin's approval, Frances and I devised a plan where we would finish the basement and she would rent it from us for 2-3 years. It would be finished with it's own living/kitchen/laundry space and it already had a separate entrance so we really wouldn't even feel like we were "living" together. The rent over the 2-3 years would pay off the cost of finishing it, and in that amount of time she would be able to build up her business (and she hasn't had ANY problem doing that) to make enough money to be prepared to buy a house. When she buys a house, we get a finished basement that is paid for! It is a win-win for both of us, but honestly I think we are more blessed by having her here than she is :) When I work I'm able to send my kids downstairs rather than take them to a sitter; I love it!
Justin and I spent every spare minute working to finish the basement as soon as possible, and in June it was done. See this post to see pictures. We now get to enjoy a night out on occasion after we put the kids to bed and let Frances know we are leaving. It is AWESOME having another adult at home all the time, even though they aren't on the same floor level as you. I can't tell you how often I put Dale down for a nap and run errands, or set up his monitor so Frances can hear him and come get him if I'm going to be gone longer than his nap time (like on work days). Frances really is a Godsend!
Ellsworth Publishing Company has been thriving and growing during this horrible recession, so for Christmas we were blessed with a very generous gift from my parents which not only more than covered all of our Christmas expenses, but allowed Justin and I the chance to take a short Ensenada cruise to celebrate our 10th anniversary. My whole goal on the cruise was to be lazy, and that is just what we did. We ate a lot, slept a lot, sat next to the window looking over the sea and read and entire 350+ page book (Justin's book was over 450 pages), watched movies, went to the Fitness Room every day, etc. It was only 3 days, but it was just what we needed!
The best treasures that $12 in Mexico could buy. I knew these masks with capes would be a hit. The kids are ALWAYS wanting us to make capes for them out of towels or pillow cases. They played endlessly with these things when we got home.
I don't need to add a lot more about 2010 since I've been blogging this whole year, but I do have to say it has really been a good year for us. We've been blessed beyond measure. As I look back on our last ten years together, I can't help but marvel at how blessed we have been and how happy I am, rather than think of how many trials we have suffered. There is so much more to the painful part of our past that is not shared in this novel of a post. I remember feeling so forsaken by my Father in Heaven. Complaining to Him that I had always tried my best to follow Him and it seemed like I was getting nothing in return. I remember crying and praying for Him to change circumstances in my life until I realized that my prayers could not be answered if it required God to interfere with the free agency of someone else. Now I look back and realize that not only were my prayers answered, but God has paid me back for all those tears BIG TIME! The reason I wanted to share our story, the WHOLE story including the ugly parts, was because I feel our story is a story of hope. There was a time when I thought I could NEVER be happy again. That I would NEVER love Justin again or not feel the hurt I felt. I remember thinking that nothing could ever change what had been done. I felt so broken and sometimes worried that I would always be so; that I would envy the marriages of others and feel jaded or bitter that mine had to weather such a storm. As it turns out, I don't feel ANY of that. My heart has been so healed that 99% of the time I feel immense gratitude. I feel a gratitude that my family is WHOLE because I know how close it was to being split. I think of what my life or what the lives of my children would be like if I had done what I wanted to do originally and get that divorce back at the end of 2006. It COULD NOT be as good as it is now, even if I was remarried to a great person. That fact is that I AM married to a great person. I seriously doubt I could find all of Justin's great qualities in another man that would have all of them AND be willing to put up with me :) After tasting the bitter, the sweet is so prevalent and obvious to me. At random moments, such as driving in my car to work, I find myself feeling grateful for my life and my marriage. It's a wonderful mindset to be in. A few weeks ago a co-worker divulged some heartbreaking news to me about her husband's huge betrayal of trust and, knowing my story (though not the same as hers) and Justin & I's past, she confided in me, "Audra, please tell me this can get better because I really don't want to be married to him anymore. Please just tell me this can get better." I told her I was sorry and gave her the best advice I knew possible, which was to wait at least six months before she makes any major decisions... I feel grateful that I could smile and tell her that if her husband works to fix his issues, and together they work to fix the damages caused to their relationship, that YES, it can get better, and it CAN be worth it. I could tell her in all her anger and hurt, that it can get better, and it's not just lip service. I love my life. I still have many areas to improve upon, but I LOVE my life. There is always hope, for whatever trials we face. I saw a fellow ward member leave the bishops office in tears a few weeks ago when I was waiting for a temple recommend interview. I felt sad for her and wondered what she was going through. I hoped that she didn't feel as alone as I did when I was in my own world of hurt. A few years ago my then-visiting teaching companion's husband left her for another woman. It wasn't an easy thing to hide since the other woman was also in our ward. I was glad I was able to let her know that although people in our church don't let anybody know about the "crap" going on in our lives, it doesn't mean we don't have it. She commented to me that THAT was the worst part. Nobody knows what other people are going through because we are so concerned about the image of perfection, and while it's great to strive to be perfect, by not sharing our struggles we cause the imperfect to feel alone and isolated. One of the most meaningful talks I've heard at church was from a member of our bishopric years ago who spoke of a long period in his life where he wasn't worthy to hold a temple recommend. He didn't have a testimony of tithing and worked all the time, including nearly every Sunday. People in the ward thought his wife was married to someone who wasn't a member. He shared the way he changed his life, gave up on the fancy house and all the material things, and in return the blessings received from putting his priorities in order. I loved that man for sharing his imperfections especially when he was currently serving in the bishopric. I respected him for it, and I trusted him more because of it. It gives me hope to see that the atonement truly works. I trust people like him because I feel like they are less likely to judge me. If only all of us could open up without fear of judgment or gossip. I know that has been the hardest part about writing this post. How much detail do I give? What will people think? What will people say? I guess I don't care so much because my story has a happy ending. I am a refined soul. Would I ever wish to go through the pain again? How about an unequivocal "HELL NO!" But I cannot deny what a changed, and improved, person I am because of it. I don't know if I could be as good at my birth mother casework without the compassion I have for those women who feel like their world has crumbled around them. Although our situations are totally different, I feel confident that I can help them pick up the pieces and find joy again, because in the end we all go to the same source, and that is our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ. They can heal anything as long as we combine our faith with our actions to make the effort to rebuild ourselves. Although he is not the author of this post, I know that Justin could say the same. He is also a changed person, and forever will be. I am so glad to be married to the man he is now and I wouldn't have it any other way.
There are more posts to come about 2010 (who couldn't post about Christmas?!), but I just can't put them in this post. It is so long and I just can't take it anymore. It needs to be done. If you have made it this far you really deserve something special...like a prize or something. How about you take your hand off the mouse and put it over your shoulder and give yourself a nice pat on the back. Thanks for being so patiently interested in our lives!
Comments
P.S. I have seen you in a bikini this past year and you still look amazing :) ... so jealous!
Audra, I admire your faith; it is so strong! I believe that's how you were able to get through the very hard trials you've faced. I admire the fact that though you struggled, you were able to look for the good in it all. That's a very admirable trait.
I loved reading through it all; I laughed and cried. It was all very touching.