End of an Era

Well, I knew that there would be a point when it was time to look into filters on the computers for our kids. Almost two months ago I finally upgraded and got a phone with internet access. I've used it quit a bit for my wrap business. About a month ago my mom upgraded her tablet and gave me hers, so we were really starting to catch up in the techy world! Not to mention I bought Justin a laptop (our first laptop) for Father's Day. All this technology in addition to our desktop computers! We have passwords on the computers that our kids don't know, so they can't get on unless we let them. I hadn't set any passwords for my phone or the tablet yet, because most of the time they were in my possession and the kids never did anything but watch cartoons or play children's games on them. Adaira, lately, has asked if she could stay up with my tablet and read the Friend magazine, and I've let her do it a couple of times because Brighton gets to stay up and read on his Kindle (his Kindle doesn't have internet though, and he can only read on it). Yesterday Adaira had my phone and was sitting on it while we played cards with she and Brighton. I had a presidency meeting to go to and took the phone with me but didn't use it during my meeting. On the way home I opened up the browser on my phone and it showed search results that no mother ever wants to see on her phone. I looked through the history and found one other search as well as a single website. Mortifying. The history didn't reveal any other searches like that other than that day. When I got home I checked my tablet and asked Justin if Adaira had taken it to bed tonight. She obviously did, because when I opened up that browser it was at the same awful website that was on my phone, and I mean AWFUL that no parent ever wants their 7.5yr old to see. The history on the tablet also showed nothing prior to last night either. Why all the sudden? I have no idea... It was 10:30pm and she was asleep already, but we will have a loving and direct conversation with her tonight, and help her understand some of her feelings about what she saw and why she looked for it. Now my phone and tablet have passwords, and we'll be looking for a second backup for the computers even though they are password protected as well. It just makes me so sad. Sad that childhood can't be enjoyed for longer without that rat bastard Satan dirtying it with his filth, trying to destroy my child at this age. It terrifies me to think of what could have developed had I not discovered it last night. What if it had gone on for weeks or even months? What would that have done to her self-image and her thoughts? As she gets closer to her baptism interview would it have ruminated in the back of her head that she was some kind of evil little girl who wasn't worth anything? This is how so many damaging addictions and shame cycles start. As sad and shocked as I am, I feel incredibly glad that it was discovered so quickly. If Satan wants war he shall have it. I was just going along kind of lazy like, not really worrying about my kids too much and not taking the precautions I should have. Now it is all too apparent that I need to spend more one on one time, have more meaningful FHE's, and more positive interactions with this little girl. I will NOT lose her, and Satan, I am going to KICK your ass, you messed with the wrong woman's child.

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