Audra's experiences worth mentioning

Aura's & the Restoration
I've been meaning to record two special things that occurred this year, but hesitated because other people read this blog and I didn't want to sound self righteous or bragging, but now that I have updated the blog through October and this post is going to be dated in June, nobody is likely to see it :)

In February of this year an older sister in our ward, Sharon Christensen, had a stroke and passed away unexpectedly. She had been my visiting teacher a few years prior and was always very consistent, so I knew her fairly well. She had this dark curly hair that she had a habit of twirling around her fingers at church. One time her husband saw her twirling her hair and he kind of nudged her and when she looked at him he pretended to twirl his own hair; his own way of telling her to "stop it". For the past year or so Sister Christensen had been largely inactive. There were rumors that she wasn't coming because she was struggling with depression, or that she had been offended (I was only privy to these rumors because I was in the RS presidency) and I had been over to her house with the RS president to visit with her. I was very sad to see her go when she passed away because I thought she was sweet, interesting, and almost funny in certain ways. The Sunday before her funeral I had been asked to speak in church. I was asked to speak about the Restoration. I quoted my talk largely from a no-nonsense talk given by Elder Ballard (Restored Truth, 1994) and Elder Holland (The First Great Commandment, Oct. '12) at general conference. My talk notes and points are posted at the bottom of this post. I had a strange feeling while I was giving my talk. I felt like I couldn't stray from the words on my paper, and that my voice wasn't my own. It's hard to describe and I couldn't tell if it was from nervousness or lack of preparation or otherwise, but I just couldn't speak in the laid back, personal manner/tone I normally try to speak in when I'm giving a talk or teaching a lesson in RS. During my talk I saw a lot of good body language feedback (people nodding their heads, smiling, etc) so that made me feel good. Afterward I probably received over a dozen compliments about what an amazing talk it was and even some people told me they were glad they were there that day to hear it. I felt pretty good to say the least, but I almost felt guilty because so much of what I had said was directly from those conference talks and I almost wondered if they thought those words I was quoting (even though I had said I was quoting from those men) were my own....

Three days later I was at the church helping prepare the funeral luncheon for the family of Sister Christensen. After the luncheon her daughter, who lived out of state and who I have never met, came into the kitchen and we started making small talk (it was a little awkward for me because I had never met her and I felt awful that her mother had passed away so suddenly, I shared a few stories with her about her mom, told her how I laughed about her twirling her hair, what a lovely lady I thought she was, and how she looked just like her). You know that point when the small talk ends and you don't have anything else to say, and at that point you usually say good bye or transition to talking to someone else? Well, we got to that point and Sister Christensen's daughter didn't leave. It was a little awkward, as if she really wanted to keep talking to me, so I started the small talk again and asked her about her family, her grown children and siblings, etc. She mentioned that I had given a talk in sacrament meeting on Sunday, and I said "Yep that was me" and she said she had been there because she had already come from out of town to be with her Dad after her mother's death. She said she hadn't been to church for about 6-7 years. After a few minutes she told me that she had a history of being able to see "auras" around people, and I think she might have mentioned that she had even seen angels before. She said it had happened a few times when she was younger, but it hadn't happened, "for a very long time (and then she got emotional) until I saw YOU up there giving that talk" she went on to say that "You were just surrounded by light and there was just bright white, and yellow and green light all around you and it just stayed there" and that she thought her mom was trying to tell her that she really cared about me and loved me. I was a little bit shocked and not really sure what to say when she told me that, so I thanked her and told her that that was pretty amazing and made me feel really good. She said that she just wanted me to know that, and wanted me to know that she thinks her mother thought highly of me. I thought about what she said for a few minutes, and then I went and found her in the hall and I told her "I think what you saw was for both of us. I think your mother and Heavenly Father wanted YOU to know that what I was saying was true and that you need to come back to church." She said that that was probably true as well, and we hugged each other. I thought about that experience for a few days, and while I don't think I was glowing up there on the stand, I do believe that she saw what she says she saw, and what she needed to see. I think that was the Lord's way of calling her back, and I think her need to tell me about it was the Lord's way of letting me know that he loves me, because I have struggled feeling/recognizing his love for a while. It was really a remarkable experience to me, one that I doubt I'll have again. I just wanted to have that on record. **Notes from my talk are still at the bottom of this post**


Resigning from LDSFS
Another experience that was more of an ego boost for me was my resignation from LDS Family Services. I had worked there for just over 5 years when I felt it was time to leave. I just didn't have the heart for the work anymore, and part of the reason for that was because I didn't have the time for it. I felt so busy with the kids in school and juggling babysitters for Dale & Daisy at home, and my availability was so limited because I only had a 4-5 hours window during the middle of the day when I could meet with people. I was also building my wrap business with an MLM company selling products that I really loved, and my pride was leading me down a busy path because my thought was that if I was going to work for an MLM company, I was going to be a SUCCESS. So I jumped all in and was BUSY.  I couldn't do birth parent work anymore because I didn't have the flexibility for it (that was my choice, they would have given me whatever work I wanted) and couldn't attend group or anything else. Basically I was doing paperwork and new adoptive certifications and home study visits, but with my middle of the day availability it wasn't ideal for me to be doing that either. Most couples want you to stop by either at the beginning of the day so they can go into work late, or the end of the day so they can just come home an hour or two early. In May I let my supervisor know that my time would be winding down and I would be resigning in mid-June. They begged me to stay on until July and I relented, but then complication with vacations and babysitters pushed my resignation up to mid-June.

When the time came for me to have my "exit" interview with the regional director of LDS Family Services, Matt Watson, he had nothing but praise for me. It was a sad moment to hand him that resignation letter. He told me over and over that they would take me back any time and that I had accomplished some incredible change and growth for the adoption program (I started the first support group in the state, outreach to local high schools (both group & outreach were items the previous full time adoption caseworker said "couldn't be done", birth parent pamper nights, and overall a program much more friendly to open adoption). He said that the current supervisor/manager over LDSFS was probably going to get married in a few years (she had a missionary boyfriend MUCH younger - about 14 years- than her out on a mission, he was a convert so was serving a mission in his mid twenties) and that he was going to be calling me for her position when she left. I kind of laughed and said "Wow" and he told me he was serious. He said that if I moved I needed to update him with my number so he knows how to find me. I told him I was incredibly honored and flattered that he would even think of me for that position and I appreciated that he had that kind of faith in me. We ended our meeting and I went to finish up more paperwork. About two hours later he caught me again in the file room and told me again that he was serious about wanting me as the AZ adoption manager when the current one left (at least her anticipated departure) in a few years. Knowing that I get a lot done in short time frames, he told me "With high efficiency comes high flexibility" and told me that it didn't really matter where I lived and that I could probably work from home a lot even as a manager. Can I tell you my self-esteem was through the roof at that point? That's a position I would NEVER even want! Lol. I would be more than happy to continue one day as a part time caseworker and not deal with all the crap managers have to deal with, but I was still incredibly floored that he thought that highly of me that he would even recruit me for it. Matt told me again not to lose touch because he wanted me back in the future. WOW. It feels good to know that my short time in the work force (and part time gig at that) was so successful and so valued.

I wanted to post some of the comments left on my FB when I announced my departure. I don't want to forget that I have the ability to do great things, even when I "just" a homemaker.

From my first "retirement", I joked that I was always coming out of retirement because I went back after Dale and again after Daisy. This time around I was really done though.

Notes from my Restoration talk (LONG).

Restored Truth 1994 M. Russell Ballard

Three weeks ago I was assigned to host an open house at the Orlando Florida Temple for leaders representing the clergy, press, government, education, and business. Before I escorted these prominent guests through the temple, I explained to them the position and basic doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I wanted them to know why the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored to the earth through the Prophet Joseph Smith, so they could understand the divine purpose and the eternal significance of the temple. My message this morning is to remind Church members what we have and to invite nonmembers to understand the need for the restoration of the gospel.

The mortal ministry of the Lord Jesus Christ was comparatively brief. He lived only thirty-three years, and His ministry was only three years. But in those three years He taught the human family everything that is necessary to receive all of the blessings our Father in Heaven has in store for His children. He concluded His mortal ministry with the single most compassionate and significant service in the history of the world: the Atonement.

One of the most important accomplishments of the Savior was the establishment of His church upon the earth. Isn’t it amazing that even though his ministry lasted only three years, his teachings have survived through the centuries?

Eventually, with the known exception of John the Beloved, Peter and his fellow Apostles were martyred. The Apostle John and members of the Church struggled for survival in the face of horrifying oppression. To their everlasting credit, Christianity did survive and was truly a prominent force by the end of the second century A.D. Many valiant Saints were instrumental in helping Christianity to endure.

Despite the significance of the ministries of these Saints, they did not hold the same apostolic authority Peter and the other Apostles had received through ordination under the hands of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. When that authority was lost, men began looking to other sources for doctrinal understanding. As a result, many plain and precious truths were lost.

History tells us, for example, of a great council held in A.D. 325 in Nicaea. By this time Christianity had emerged from the dank dungeons of Rome to become the state religion of the Roman Empire, but the church still had problems—chiefly the inability of Christians to agree among themselves on basic points of doctrine. To resolve differences, Emperor Constantine called together a group of Christian bishops to establish once and for all the official doctrines of the church.

Consensus did not come easily. Opinions on such basic subjects as the nature of God were diverse and deeply felt, and debate was spirited. Decisions were not made by inspiration or revelation, but by majority vote, and some disagreeing factions split off and formed new churches. Similar doctrinal councils were held later in A.D. 451, 787, and 1545, with similarly divisive results.

The beautiful simplicity of Christ’s gospel was under attack from an enemy that was even more destructive than the scourges and the crosses of early Rome: the philosophical meanderings of uninspired men. The doctrine became based more on popular opinion than on revelation. This period of time was called the Dark Ages. They were dark largely because the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ had been lost.

Then in 1517, the Spirit moved Martin Luther, a German priest who was disturbed at how far the church had strayed from the gospel as taught by Christ. His work led to a reformation, a movement that was taken up by such other visionaries as John Calvin, Huldrych Zwingli, John Wesley, and John Smith.

Elder Ballard says he believes these reformers were inspired to create a religious climate in which God could restore lost truths and priesthood authority. Similarly, God inspired the earlier explorers and colonizers of America and the framers of the Constitution of the United States to develop a land and governing principles to which the gospel could be restored.

By 1820 the world was ready for the “restitution of all things” spoken of by Peter and “all [God’s] holy prophets since the world began” (Acts 3:21).

At this time religious excitement was sweeping across the countryside in upstate New York. Ministers from different denominations vied zealously for the loyalty of the faithful in villages and towns, including Palmyra, the home of the family of Joseph Smith, Sr., and Lucy Mack Smith.

When fourteen-year-old Joseph, Jr., considered which church to join, he investigated each denomination carefully, listening to the respective ministers and trying to sort out the truth. He knew there is “one Lord, one faith, one baptism” (Eph. 4:5), but which was the one he did not know.

“In the midst of this war of words and tumult of opinions,” Joseph Smith, Jr., wrote later, “I often said to myself: What is to be done? Who of all these parties are right; or, are they all wrong together? If any one of them be right, which is it, and how shall I know it?” (JS—H 1:10.)

Young Joseph looked for answers to his questions in the scriptures. While reading in the Bible, he came upon a simple, direct admonition in the epistle of James: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5).

Joseph reflected: “Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know” (JS—H 1:12).

With the simple faith of youth and motivated by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Joseph decided to go into a grove of trees near his home and put the promise in James to the test. Heavenly Father didn’t choose a grown man with a depth of religious knowledge and preconceived beliefs. He needed a clean slate, a humble child, who he could mold, inspire, and instruct.

We know well the story of the first vision. We know that our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ appeared to the young Joseph. We know during that vision they told Joseph he should join none of the existing churches.

Perhaps the most important lesson young Joseph learned in the Sacred Grove is this significant eternal truth: the heavens are not sealed. God does communicate with mortals. He loves us today just as much as He loved those who lived anciently. What comfort that sweet assurance provides in a world filled with confusion and discouragement! What peace and security come to the heart that understands that God in heaven knows us and cares about us, individually and collectively, and that He communicates with us, either directly or through His living prophets, according to our needs. Father and the Son appeared in wondrous vision to young Joseph as a step in the restoring of the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth. Through subsequent, equally miraculous experiences, Joseph Smith was God’s instrument in—

·         Translating from ancient records a book of scripture, the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ,

·         Restoring priesthood authority,

·         Restoring sealing keys to turn the hearts of the children to the fathers,

·         Establishing the restored church of Jesus Christ in these latter days with the fulness of the gospel as taught in the meridian of time by the Savior and His Apostles,

·         Fulfilling biblical prophecy,

·         Preparing for the second coming of Jesus Christ.

Repeating Elder Ballard’s assertions, “Either the gospel has been restored or it has not. Either the Savior’s original church and its doctrine were lost or they were not. Either Joseph Smith had that remarkable vision or he did not. The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ or it is not. Either the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored to earth through God’s chosen latter-day prophet or it was not.”

I decided years ago that I would choose to never take any interest or curiosity in literature or teachings that discredit our Church. I’d been exposed to anti-Mormon literature earlier on in my life. Coincidentally (or not coincidentally) it was introduced to me during the same year of school that I chose to read and pray about the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. As a youth, that literature did shake my faith. I remember reading the BOM wondering to myself if it could all be some made up story. Fortunately for me the Spirit spoke stronger, and I was drawn to the scriptures, reading the BOM from cover to cover multiple times in that same year. It changed me and made me a better person, and all the while I didn’t notice the change was occurring. It was months before I looked back on how I had changed for the better over the course of my Freshman year. I had been transformed into a person much more congruent to the type of woman I wanted to be some day. I had my testimony of the BOM & this gospel to thank for it.

 There are many stories from the beginnings of Church History that are difficult to understand or accept for many. But it all comes down to this: Are you better off? Does the world have something better to offer to replace our faith in the restoration and The Book of Mormon? That answer is NO. The world does not have anything better. To lose you faith is to lose something precious, which leaves a void that no earthly teachings can fill. My life would not be better off, nor would my children’s, without the teachings of the gospel and the safety that comes from living it. I’ve said to non member acquaintances that even if this religion was the biggest farce ever concocted, my life would have still been blessed for being a part of it. I would still be glad my children were raised in it. THIS is all the more reason why it is not a farce. If it isn’t of Christ then it must be of the devil, and the devil would never create a religion that inspires so much good, that inspires husbands and wives to love and be faithful to one another and to their children. That inspired us to serve and love one another, to stand morally upright and value purity.

As for the Book of Mormon, I quote Elder Holland, who quoted his great-grandfather, in saying “No wicked man could write such a book as this; and no good man would write it, unless it were true and he were commanded of God to do so.”

Holland, 10/09

“For 179 years this book has been examined and attacked, denied and deconstructed, targeted and torn apart like perhaps no other book in modern religious history—perhaps like no other book in any religious history. And still it stands. Failed theories about its origins have been born and parroted and have died—from Ethan Smith to Solomon Spaulding to deranged paranoid to cunning genius. None of these frankly pathetic answers for this book has ever withstood examination because there is no other answer than the one Joseph gave as its young unlearned translator. “

A few short verses from the 12th chapter of Ether in the Book of Mormon. Before closing the book, Hyrum turned down the corner of the page from which he had read, marking it as part of the everlasting testimony for which these two brothers were about to die. I hold in my hand that book, the very copy from which Hyrum read, the same corner of the page turned down, still visible. Later, when actually incarcerated in the jail, Joseph the Prophet turned to the guards who held him captive and bore a powerful testimony of the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon. ⁸ Shortly thereafter pistol and ball would take the lives of these two testators.

As one of a thousand elements of my own testimony of the divinity of the Book of Mormon, I submit this as yet one more evidence of its truthfulness. In this their greatest—and last—hour of need, I ask you: would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book (and by implication a church and a ministry) they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth?

Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be “houseless, friendless and homeless” and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. ⁹ Never mind that legions will die and other legions live declaring in the four quarters of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the Church which espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death these two men would enter the presence of their Eternal Judge quoting from and finding solace in a book which, if not the very word of God, would brand them as imposters and charlatans until the end of time? They would not do that! They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and the eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.

Elder Holland, Oct ‘12

I testify from the bottom of my heart, with the intensity of my soul, to all who can hear my voice that those apostolic keys have been restored to the earth, and they are found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. To those who have not yet joined with us in this great final cause of Christ, we say, “Please come.” To those who were once with us but have retreated, preferring to pick and choose a few cultural hors d’oeuvres from the smorgasbord of the Restoration and leave the rest of the feast, I say that I fear you face a lot of long nights and empty nets. The call is to come back, to stay true, to love God, and to lend a hand. I include in that call to fixed faithfulness every returned missionary who ever stood in a baptismal font and with arm to the square said, “Having been commissioned of Jesus Christ.”¹⁶ That commission was to have changed your convert forever, but it was surely supposed to have changed you forever as well.

Brothers and Sisters this is the true church. I bear my testimony that the Book of Mormon changed my life dramatically when I read it as a youth seeking my own answer. I know it can change the lives of all those who read it. Joseph Smith was a true prophet chosen to change the world and bring back Christ’s church. Protect your testimonies; guard them as diligently as you would your most precious possessions, because a testimony is your most precious possession. When you feel that draw to not pray, or to not read the scriptures, or to stay home from church, or thoughts of wanting to stay on the “down low” in your church activity, do not entertain it. Your testimony can get you through the worst of trials, and prepare you to receive the guidance and inspiration from our Father in Heaven to navigate safely through the maze of life.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.